Why am i Single? Five Questions to as yourself

I am of age to get married, I am financially stable; why am I still single? This question often run through the minds of Christian singles. You may think you are ready but there are some little things you tend to consider as unimportant during your time as a single. Those little things can hinder or delay your marital destiny.

My prayer for you is that God gives you the wisdom to make amends as you ask yourself these questions.


1.Are you marriageable? I stumbled across an article some time ago and the writer asked a question that really struck me hard. His question was ‘can you marry yourself?’ Take a moment to think about this question. As a lady if you were a guy would you approach yourself and build a long term relationship with you? Same thing goes for a man. Search yourself, what are those habits you engage in that are repulsive to others, work on them. No man wants to marry a nagging women or a gossip likewise no woman wants to marry a hot tempered or lazy man. Keep fit, don’t just eat anyhow. Godly men/women make use of their eyes too so dress well.

2. Are you spiritually matured? Do you have a personal relationship with God? How sensitive are you in the spirit? God is not going to lead his son to a lady who will run him down spiritually. You need to consciously take out time and grow your relationship with God. Find out how God leads you, it will come in handy when making important decisions as a married man/woman. If you don’t know how God leads you, you may end up missing your God ordained partner. Spiritual maturity doesn’t just come overnight, it takes commitment, hard work, and discipline to grow in the spirit. Get serious with God so that he can lead your spouse to you.
3. Are you serving God in words or in actions? The bible in Matt 6; 33 talks about seeking first the kingdom of God and every other thing will be added to you. Are you a church goer or are you working for God. My pastor used to say ‘if you work for God he will work for you’ God is not a user of person and he rewards service in his house. If you want God to set to work in your marital life, then start working for him, serve him with your money, your time and your energy. Join a service unit in church, go out for evangelism, and pray for the salvation of souls. Your time as a single brother/sister is a very good time to serve God because you have few things to take care of. Don’t just claim to be a Christian, prove it.

4. Have you discovered your purpose? Every man/woman has a purpose/reason for existence. It is your duty to discover your purpose, that unique thing God created you to do. God has specific plans for your life and it is in your best interest to follow them. As a man, remember God created the woman to be your helpmeet; i.e. to help you fulfill purpose. Therefore what will a woman come to help you with when you haven’t discovered your purpose? As a lady, finding your purpose and working with it places you in the company of like minds for divine connection. Go back to your creator and ask him what he created you to do. Working in line with your purpose shows your readiness for marriage.

5. Are you living a pure/chaste life as a single? Sexual immorality is evil; it is the only sin that is committed against your own body 1 Corinthians 6; 12-19. You cannot be praying for a husband/wife and be sleeping with a man/woman that is not your spouse and expect God to answer you, it doesn’t work that way. Sin turns God far away from us so that he grant our request. If you want God to settle you in marriage, then live a holy life; it is the price you have to pay. Remember your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, don’t defile yourself. Hebrews 13; 14.

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Don’t see single-hood as a curse, rather see it as a blessing. Use your days as a single to build a strong and steady relationship with God because you may not have time for that after marriage. God will send your spouse at the right time according to his word in Isaiah 34; 16. What you do as a single can either make or mar your marriage, BE WISE.

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